You and your band of merry drunkards just spilled out of a club so A-list that not even Boston from “I Love New York” could weasel himself in for fifteen minutes. What do you do? Well, unless you’re balling completely out of control and you’re leading a caravan of cars to your mansion in the hills, you’re probably going to want to stuff your face… but where? Hmmm… I might know of a few places. Follow me.
Fred 62s “Me and my buddies are making a movie and we were wondering if you wanted to act in it.” Oh you cheeky, soft shoed hipsters with your beating about the bush… Sunset Junction’s busiest and perhaps only diner sits atop the northern most point of shop’s row on Vermont. From the tragically hip greasers to the American Apparel clad cuties, Fred 62s crackles with energy throughout the wee hours of the night.
Prices: Moderately priced.
Hours: 24/7
Try: Alice’s Egg Sandwich
Location: 1850 N. Vermont 90027
Damiano Mr. Pizza It’s dark. It’s dank. It’s pizza. Welcome to Damiano’s. Okay, so maybe it takes twenty minutes for a slice of cheese to magically appear on your plate, but at least you get to lounge with your crew and stew in your own alcoholic juices and regale each other with stories of how you almost landed that one chick. Oh and if you don’t feel like dining in, Damiano’s delivers any where and every where further proving that Fairfax’s Miracle Mile stretch is truly the center point of the LA mini-verse.
Prices: Price is right.
Hours: 11:00a – 6:00a
Try: Hawaiian style Calzone
Location: 412 N. Fairfax 90036
La Cabaña Yes, the tortillas are hand made in the restaurant and yes, they do have an in-house trio of troubadours serenading starry eyed couples, but no, they all left hours ago. You’re just going to have to settle for large portions of Mexican deliciousness. If you’re jonesing for some mud butt then take your sorry self down to Taco Bell, but if you desire quality in your bowel movements then hit up La Cabaña. You won’t be disappointed.
Prices: A touch on the expensive side.
Hours: 11:00s - 3:00a
Try: Gallina (chicken quesadilla)
Location: 738 Rose 90291
The Brite Spot Located just down the way from the infamous Echo, artsy fartsy types from all walks of life wedge themselves into stiflingly small booths. What this laid back grub spot lacks in ambiance, it more than makes up for its visual blandness in color – people that is. To say the least, there are some fairly interesting heads that come and go…particularly on Dub Club Wednesdays.
Prices: Overpriced.
Hours: 7:00a – 4:00a
Try: Gyro plate.
Location: 1918 W. Sunset 90026
Jerry’s Famous Deli Okay, okay. You’re balling out of control and you want the world to know. The clubs are closed and there’s a no cruising law in effect. Where do you go to floss what you got? Believe it or not, a deli and not just any deli – Jerry’s Deli located behind the Beverly Center. Gaggles of young Hollywood debs order waters in hopes of spotting someone famous or even a future ex. Gaudily dressed guys text away on their two ways in search of the next party in the hills along with the ratio evening group of girls that will get them in…Jerry’s is an open market for hooking up. Although the menu reads like a cell phone bill, no one goes there just because they serve a mean cheese steak.
Prices: Needlessly expensive.
Hours: 24hrs Fri.-Sat.
Try: Teriyaki Chicken Breast Sandwich
Location: 8701 W. Beverly Blvd. 90024
Mel’s Drive-In Styled in the vein of 50s Americana drive in hang outs, Mel’s Drive-In not only provides comfort food, but also a safe haven from the quota filling patrol cars gunning for Sunset strip cruisers. Mel’s is without a doubt a scene where you go to be seen. From reality show stars to local celebrities or just the rich and nameless, this is where the beautiful people go to be fat for an hour. Expect to wait a while to be seated. This place is always rocking out after hours.
Prices: Expensive.
Hours: 24hrs Fri-Sat.
Try: Butterscotch Milkshake
Location: 8585 W. Sunset Blvd 90069
Los Tacos Positioned between a 7-11 and a Laundromat, Los Tacos is by no means glamorous, but at least you can get your grub on and walk no more than five feet to get yourself some Pepto and a roll of T-P. There are some colorful characters that hang around the store front, but not in the Jay & Silent Bob type way. Aside from the local color, Los Tacos is the best Mexican fast food in town. Take your food to go as the restaurant is pretty small. There isn’t even a bathroom for customers. Go defecate on your own property.
Prices: Worth the extra buck.
Hours: 24/7
Try: Pork Carnitas
Location: 7954 Santa Monica Blvd 90046
Astroburger No plastic accepted here, just cash on the barrel head… This is not just a straight forward burger joint. Nope, there is a surprising amount of variety on the menu from the fully customizable burgers to the extensive veggie menu (at least for a fast food restaurant). It’s also pretty much the only burger joint open round these parts so when Bar Lubitsch, Winston’s and Jones’s close, Astroburger is the most likely spot where large groups of drunken party animals will be migrating to feed their faces.
Prices: Price is right.
Hours: Open til 4:00a on Sat.
Try: Steak fries.
Location: 7475 Santa Monica Blvd. 90046
Pink’s After the clubs and bars spit you out into the streets, you have about one hour to hop into the serpentine single file line to get your fill of legendary Pink’s famous chili. Once you order your heart clogger of choice, feast your eyes on the hundreds of autographed headshots of Hollywood’s most prestigious. This mecca of glutton is visited by thousands of tourists every month. There really isn’t a time when there isn’t a line unless it happens to be closed. The food isn’t life changing, but being able to tell your grandkids you ate at Pink’s seems to be the main selling point.
Prices: Price is right.
Hours: Fri.-Sat. until 3:00a
Try: Bacon Chili Cheese Dog.
Location: 709 N. La Brea 90038
Jack in the Box C’mon buddy, you and I both know that drunk people and drive-through’s are quite fond of one another. They don’t even have to get out of the car to feed their face, which is why it’s always surprising that police don’t stake out these drive-through’s for potential DUIs. The eye in the sky must look at patrons like cockroaches piling into roach motels. Stay away at all costs if you can.
Prices: Dirt cheap.
Hours: 24/7 365
Try: Two tacos for a dollar.
Location: Every where.
And there you have it, folks. Ten late night eateries that will seat you, feed you and take your money and that’s just the tip of the iceberg, slim. No need to thank yours truly. Just pay it forward to your waiters and waitresses, who have to put up with cranky people on a regular basis. Spread the love and most importantly, don’t drink and drive.
Franklin Grimes
